So I have two and a half hours until I board the train to my life. I am so very excited and I know this is the beginning to doing better for myself. I know that doing this will bring me nothing but the best in life and I also know that I am serious when I say that this year is going to change so much for me and all in a positive way. All I know is it a whole new city, completely different surroundings and now all I got to do is make new friends and then plan on going from there. I know this will be a completely positive experience for me and who knows what will happen next? Just know to be ready you know what is going on next
I keep finding myself starting over again. Re-writing over and over again, trying to find my voice and that's fine but it can also be a pain in the behind. I just feel like I have left so much unsaid and also had somethings that needed to be put into words. Now I am not going to lie I am a young woman who deals with depression, borderline personality disorder among other things which for me seems to mean that getting up out of bed, getting dressed, and doing simple things are a task. I am constantly criticizing my every move and thought. It also means that I am by far my own enemy. I usually go between trying to figure out what I want or how I want to go about it. I have the struggle that I don't like people getting close to me or people trying to figure me out because that means they have a chance to figure out my vulnerabilities. I constantly find myself feeling people talking about me and eye's watching me and I don't like being noticed me because of the pressure it ...
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